The Dixie Gun and Knife Show in Raleigh, NC has BANNED the carrying and selling of personal firearms in the wake of a minor accident yesterday that left three people injured by birdshot. After closing the show for the rest of the day, officials later decided to trample on the Second Amendment rights of responsible gun owners to give show attendees a false sense of security while they peruse the wares of gunsellers and Nazi memorabilia vendors. One can only imagine how much worse this egregious violation would be if they also decided to close the so-called “gunshow loophole” to run background checks on each and every prospective buyer.
Hitler-loving peaceniks and Obamabots have fired another volley of persecution on gun owners because of a few minor incidents that occurred on Gun Appreciation Day. In addition to the aforementioned NC accident, a gun dealer in Medina, Ohio accidentally pulled the trigger on a semi-automatic handgun that he had just purchased. The round hit the floor, then ricocheted and hit a man in the hand and hip. He was medivaced to a hospital for treatment. You could actually blame the hard surface of the floor for this injury, as more porous flooring would have absorbed the round. The venue should have anticipated accidental discharges at a gun show! In another unfortunate incident, Emory L. Cozee, 54, accidentally shot himself in the hand while trying to load the semi-automatic .45 that he had just purchased at the Indy 1500 Gun and Knife Show in Indianapolis.
When record numbers of gun show attendees flock to conventions on Gun Appreciation Day, a few people are likely to be injured. Statistically speaking, the number of injuries are infinitesimal in relation to the number of relatively inexperienced people handling weapons. Almost 10,000 people a year are injured by fireworks on the 4th of July in the United States. Would it then make sense to BAN all fireworks due to the stupidity of a tiny fraction of fireworks users? Of course not. That’s like saying just because ONE security guard left his gun behind unattended in a school bathroom, ALL guns in schools should be banned. Because accidents happen. People make mistakes. Sometimes people die, but that is the price to be paid to protect our Second Amendement rights above ALL others. When jackbooted thugs come for all your other rights, it is the Second Amendment that will protect you. When the Constitution is trampled upon by OBAMAnation, who will stand up and regurgitate the tyranny that is being jammed down our throats? Only the heavily-armed, freedom-loving GUN APPRECIATORS of ‘MURICA, son!
Thanks to the efforts of the NRA, gun appreciation has reached a record level among Americans. As the ranks of the NRA swell, gun shows have seen an exponential rise in attendance. This has had the wonderful effect of doubling and tripling the price of semi-automatic weapons, high-capacity magazines, and high-caliber bullets! Some patriots fear that the Sandy Hook shootings were engineered by the government to drum up support for gun control. Gun sales are up a staggering 100 PERCENT, due to fears that Obama is going to ban all guns. Consumers are willing to pay two or three times the value of the weapon, because the NRA has warned that a new tax may be imposed on them in the next few years. The gun industry is enjoying record profits, so the joke is on the fascists. Americans can feel safer knowing that responsible gun ownership is on the rise. Thanks to the efforts of patriots all over the nation, Americans are getting more accustomed to law-abiding gun toters patrolling the streets in Portland and spreading peace all over the damn place, despite the best efforts of Big Government to emasculate the populace.
One of these days, we will all have an AR-15 strapped to our backs. Maybe even an AK-47, because the only difference between semi-auto and fully auto is the amount of bullets it can fire in a specific time frame. Our children will have their own little sidearms to protect themselves from bullies and pedophiles. Then, and only then, will we be safe from Obama, Pelosi, atheism, gayness and creeping Sharia. Such a vision of peace should inpire you to join me in a petition to the DIXIE GUN AND KNIFE SHOW to get their well-heeled boots off the necks of law-abiding gun owners! A BAN on personal weapons is a BAN on FREEDOM!
**UPDATED TO ADD: This is satire. Unfortunately, a distinction must be made.