I hate to give this any more attention, but I am always fascinated by public meltdowns and freakouts. Here, Ted Nugent screeches to reporter Jeff Glor, “I’m an extremely loving, passionate man! And people who investigate me honestly — without the baggage of political correctness — ascertain the conclusion that I’m a damn nice guy! And if you can find a screening process more powerful than that, I’ll suck your fucking dick!” Then he turns to a female producer and shouts “Or fuck you! How does that sound?”

That sounds positively frightening, honestly. I would be uncomfortable to even be in the same room with this nut. To his credit, he did apologize to both Glor and the producer, saying he later had to get a kidney stone removed, which may have contribute to his “high level of energy.” Kidney stones don’t explain other statements he’s made, however.

Somewhat reminiscent of the spectacularly memorable and deliciously psychotic Charlie Sheen meltdown of last year, one wonders if we are witnessing some sort of public descent into madness, or if Nugent is being provocative simply to garner some attention in the twilight of his career. An even bigger question is why has Romney’s campaign not strenuously objected to and distanced itself from Nugent’s hate-filled diatribes? Romney actively sought and was granted Nugent’s endorsement. Romney’s people have not said much more than, “now, now, let’s be civil.” I am pretty sure the reason is that they need the votes that will be delivered by the types of people who agree with Nugent. The NRA spokesman has quite a lot of clout with the militant crazies voting bloc.

Too bad Nugent is not nearly as quotable as Charlie Sheen. Last year, the word was “WINNING!” My friends and I posted Sheenisms as status updates on Facebook and it was brilliant. “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out; they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.” Dude, that’s pure gold. I could possibly be persuaded to take a ride on his crazy train. Adonis DNA, Tiger’s Blood-yes, please.

Compare this to a classic Nugent quote: “[I get a] full predator spiritual erection” from hunting “bear, lions, coons, housecats, escaped chimps, small children, scared women and everything else that can be chased and/or hunted.” This has the same element of craziness of a Sheen tirade, but the creepiness elevates the freak factor exponentially. This would be excellent dialogue for a serial killer in a novel. On a celebrity crazy scale, I would place Nugent between Mel Gibson and the guy who played Kramer (who went crazy because no one remembers his real name).

Ted Nugent offers none of the strangely poetic craziness of a good Sheen breakdown: “Obama, he’s a piece of sh-t, and I told him to suck on my machine gun … Hey Hillary, you might want to ride one of these into the sunset, you worthless b—t … Any questions? Freeeeeeeeeeeedom!!!!!”

He has called on so many people to suck on his AK, ride his AK, fuck his AK…I imagine him walking around his ranch with a strap-on AK, taunting chickens and goats (please, I hope not small children and scared women). Although he avoided the draft by shitting his pants and not bathing, he fashions himself as a patriot who loves the military. He is a parody of the gun-toting, foul-mouthed bigot with small mind and smaller…AK. He doesn’t seem like a real person, but judging from the nodding heads and supportive cheers from the crowds to whom he speaks, he is one of many.

This article has some great examples of Nugent’s classic racist, misogynistic and paranoid quotes.

10 thoughts on “Ted Nugent: I am a Nice Guy, If Not, I’ll Suck and F*@k You!

  1. He is slime, scum, the trail a slug leaves on the bowl of beer left to kill them in the garden. He is the pants he sat in for a month without bathing.

    He his putrescence personified. That he would dare claim brotherhood with the men and women in uniform is an insult..

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